Monday, October 12, 2009

I Just Wanna Be With You

Wet Seal Jacket, Old Navy Tunic Tank, Max Rave Skinny Jeans, Urban Originals Flats, Vintage Bag, Fabuless Hoops, DIY Necklace, Fabuless Bangles

A little about the ensemble: I actually took three chains and combined them and made one huge necklace, then I double looped it to make the appearance of a double chain. All three chains are different sizes, but i think it makes it unique :) The bag is vintage, got it from a thrift store. I really hate the tank top, because if I wear it long, it looks so bad with my shape. I have it in two colors and they used to look really good when I first got them :/ 

So, tomorrow is my birthday and I'm going to go to Applebee's with my mom to have my first drink :) I'm so excited but nervous at the same time. I'm nervous because I have this phobia that is not very common and it involves alcohol. This is the part where things get really personal but in order for me to deal with it, I need to address it. I have a phobia of throwing up, puke, all that stuff. I get nervous if I feel like I'm goign to, almost causing a panic attack. If someone else pukes, I almsot have a panic attack because I'm afraid I'll puke too. I can't be around drunk people or sick people for fear of puke. My mom has to hold Amerie is I think she's going to puke because I'm afraid. I hate it so much! It's frustrating, especially with being a mother to my own daughter. I just hope that tomorrow, I will be able to get over it and move on. I feel a little better letting it out now. :)

Tomorrow also holds another fear that I am breaking away from...the fear of being different. I have so many stylish ideas floating around in my head but I'm afraid to wear them because I still have insecurity about my style. I live in a place where fashion is a year or so behind, so it's like the Twilight Zone :( It's harder for me too because I live in the ghetto, and where I stay, if you don't dress like a prostitute or a hoodrat, you don't belong and/or you are trying to be "white". I hate it here and can't wait for the day that I can leave. But tomorrow, i'm going to be the momentous 21, and I will unveil my free thinking style upon these "hoodrats" and "ghetto girls". I will no longer be ashamed to be me. I will wear my lace tights and light jean shorts with booties. I will rock my fingerless gloves with a cute skirt and tee-shirt. No more hiding, no more playing it safe. It's time to let go :)

Well, this was more reflective than I expected. Oh and FYI, the title of the post comes from an *NSYNC song I was listening to today. I used to love them so much, and secretly (well not secretly anymore) I still do :) I used to love love love Justin Timberlake, and I still do ;)

Well, until tomorrow, C-ya!


  1. Hope you had a happy birthday and good luck with the style change, I know what you mean where the place you live can have an impact on what you wear.

  2. Hope you had a great birthday!!!!! And I'm in love with your thrifted bag!!! And good for you for stepping out! You shouldn't be limited by society. Be comfortable with who you are.


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