Saturday, August 1, 2009

Love Part 1

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So yea, a lot of my friends are in relationships, as as much as I give great advice, I still end up being the single friend that knows everything but can get a man. Why is that? Because I'm stuck on some lame dude that treats me like crap, but because I feel so much love for him, I can't drop his ass. In the meantime, I try to date on the side, thinking, "I'll get over him." or "This guy is way better, I'll stop thinking about Que." (Side note: Que is the code name for my ex-boyfriend). But honestly, as hard as I try, I can't let go. I feel like he can call meand I'll always pick up the phone. If I'm on the phone with someone else, even another dude, I'll hang up with them as soon as he calls. Why do I give him that much control, and I haven't even been around the person that much? The majority of the relationship is long distance, hell, the whole thing is long distance. Yet, I can't seem to drop his sorry butt (I'm working on not cursing, so bare with me). If I could just find a decent man who doesn't care if I don't have perfect skin, a small waist, a big behind, long flowing hair, and light skin, maybe I wouldn't be whining about this crap on a freakin blog. But guess what? Life doesn't work like that. I feel like I have to go through crappy relationships and aquantances just to find my "number one". I'm over the whole "Prince Charming" crap and just hope that God will lead me to the one man, besides Him, that will fulfill all my wants and needs and make me a better person. I'm not saying I need a man to be happy, but having a man in my life to share my happiness with would be great. I'm not looking for pity cause that's overrated, I'm just speaking my words on my love life. I know I sound like every emo, depressed hag that can't find a man cause she's not confident in herself or some bull crap like that, but honestly, I don't care what you think of me, I'm just saying how I feel. I feel like I'm too picky and that sometimes, I will want to approach a dude, but can't because of a fear of rejection. I guess i shouldn't fear it because I've been rejected enough in the past, but dang, I mean, can I get one yes after 200 no's? I don't know, I think I'm overthinking this whole love and relationship thing and should just focus on myself. If all else fails, I can always be the lady with the cats and a daughter whose ashamed because her mom is the lady with the cats. Well, I'm allergic to cats so I guess dogs will have to do. That's it for Love Part 1. Part 2 coming soon, hopefully a happier Part 2.

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