Saturday, August 1, 2009

Hoochie Mama

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Ok, I know I'm going to offend somebody, and I'm sorry, but this needs to be addressed. Now, I know I'm not an angel, and i don't claim to be one, but ladies, this is a new year, can we please pick a new strategy to get a man? I'm sorry, but the hoochie mama thing is getting played out. First off, let's start with the definition of a "hoochie mama".

Hoochie Mama: A little girl who can only gain attention by dressing like she just got off the stripper pole or working the street corner giving blow jobs for $10.

I know, that was a bit harsh, but it's true. I am so sick and tired of little girls (yes, I said it, LITTLE GIRLS, because grown woman don't need to be hoochie mamas to get attention) thinking that their physical assets are going to get them everything in life. Ok, for right now, you'll get the baller, the money, the cars, jewelry and all that materialistic stuff. Not to mention, a lot of sex because that's mainly what your "man" is looking for. But when your body starts sagging south, homeboy is going to find a P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thang) and drop you like the booty you dropped to get him. I'm sorry but your thighs in those shorts are only going to look cute until the cellutite starts coming, then you'll just look like the Moon in some booty shorts. And please, let's not forget the girls whose breasts can't seem to stay covered. Now, I'll admit, I've used my big breasts to get attention before, but that's what happens when you are naive and have a low self esteem and cannot see the inner beauty that you have (that's a whole different blog post for another time). Girls, please keep your "girls" in check, and only unleash them for a man worthy of seeing them, not just for a fat wallet, nice car, nice clothes, and a nice body. Honey, those things will alll be gone eventually, and whose to say he didn't rent, borrow, or steal all that? Exactly.

Girls, it's time to step your intelligence up and realize that you body is a temple and should not be exploited just to find a man or make money. Stop being a hoochie mama. Stop walking out your house when you knwo your booty is hanging our or is about to. Stop walking around town when you know your bra is not going to cover your chest. Stop parading around men in your lingerie in public, sweetie you are not a Victoria Secret model and this is not a photo shoot so come back to reality. Stop walking in the club like you threw on your little sister's night gown and call yourself tryna be classy. No ma'am, you look trashy.

Now, lemme take a step back and review the situation. Yes, I do show cleavage when I wear certain things, but not all of my body parts are exposed at the same time. Yes, I have worn short shorts in public, but as a swim cover up, not an outfit. Yes, I've worn short dresses to the club, but that's because I didn't want to speak up and be myself, I tried to follow the pack.

Ladies (I can call you that if you have learned anything from reading this), I think it's time I share a style secret thats I learned from watching many different style shows. Show off one body part at a time. Now when I say this, I don't mean wear a jacket with short shorts or some jeans with a bra. Lemme give you some examples of what I'm talking about.

The first look, you see we have a lot of cleavage going on with a halter top with a plunging neckline, but features a long chain necklace so it's not too bare. The legs are nice and covered with a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, and to compliment the look, a great pair of studded heels (sorry, not trying to accessorize too tough, this is just a rough example piece).

The second look, though I'm not too fond of it, is merely an example of how to show off your legs without completely exposing your cleavage. Here, we have a nice ruffle short sleeved jacket over a classic shorts jumpsuit with a sweetheart bodice, which alone is very tasteful. The heels, from the previous look, also give the look a bit of an edge.

The third look follows along the same theme as look #2. The idea that your breasts do not have to be exposed when your legs are is something women and girls find hard to do, especially when going out to the clubs to "look fly". Here, we have a tank style dress, which does not feature a plunging neckline, but does have a tulip hem at the bottom, which will showcase a nice set of legs. The booties also help to keep the look classy by actually covering up your feet. Again, many women have felt that strappy heels and short, revealing dresses are the way to go for going out at night. Look at some of the most stylish women today, and you will find a nice contrast to the theory.

The final look again plays off the covered cleavage and exposed legs theme. Here, we feature a top with a faux shrug that covers the breasts and shoulders, and a tulip hem skirt with tiered stripes. A nice colorful pair of heels that picks up the teal blue in the skirt helps pull together the look.

I know that it's hard to break from the tried and true methods of dressing for the nightlife. And honestly, for some, that's just their style. I'm not here to place judgement, because honey, if you look good in it, do you. But I'm just saying, try something new. You might actually like it. Peace!

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